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when they them is singular ?

**When Are “They” and “Them” Singular? A Guide to Inclusive Language**

In today’s evolving linguistic landscape, the use of “they” and “them” as singular pronouns has become increasingly common. This shift reflects a broader societal movement towards inclusivity and respect for individuals of all gender identities. If you’re curious about when and how to use singular “they” and “them,” this guide is here to help.

### **Introduction**

The English language is constantly evolving, and one of the most notable changes in recent years has been the embrace of “they” and “them” as singular pronouns. This shift is driven by the need for gender-neutral language that respects individuals who identify as nonbinary, genderqueer, or gender non-conforming. Whether you’re writing an essay, crafting a social media post, or simply conversing with friends, understanding when to use singular “they” and “them” is essential for clear and inclusive communication.

### **Definition and Examples**

So, what exactly does it mean to use “they” and “them” in the singular? Simply put, singular “they” refers to a single person whose gender is either unknown, nonbinary, or unspecified. Here are a few examples to illustrate how it works:

– **Unknown Gender:**
*”Someone left their book on the table, but they didn’t leave a note.”*
(Here, we don’t know who the person is, so “they” is the most appropriate pronoun.)

– **Nonbinary Individual:**
*”Taylor is a writer who uses they/them pronouns. They published their first novel last year.”*
(In this case, “they” is used because Taylor identifies as nonbinary and prefers gender-neutral pronouns.)

– **General Statements:**
*”If a person forgets their keys, they might need to call a locksmith.”*
(This is a general statement where the subject’s gender is irrelevant, so “they” is the best choice.)

Using “they” and “them” in these contexts ensures that your language is respectful and inclusive.

### **Historical Context**

While the use of “they” as a singular pronoun might seem like a modern innovation, it actually has a long history in English. Writers like Chaucer and Shakespeare used “they” in the singular, and it remained a common practice until the 18th century when grammarians began to advocate for “he” as the default singular pronoun. However, in recent years, there has been a resurgence of singular “they” as part of the broader movement toward inclusive language.

Today, major style guides such as the *AP Stylebook* and *Merriam-Webster* endorse the use of singular “they” in formal writing. This shift reflects a growing recognition of the importance of respecting individuals’ gender identities in language.

### **Grammar and Usage Tips**

Using singular “they” and “them” is easier than you might think, but there are a few key things to keep in mind:

1. **Verb Agreement:**
When using singular “they,” the verb should agree with the plural form. For example:
*”They are coming to the party.”*
(Not “They is coming.”)

2. **Possessive Pronouns:**
The possessive form of singular “they” is “their.”
*”They brought their lunch to the park.”*

3. **Reflexive Pronouns:**
The reflexive form is “themselves.”
*”They cut themselves while cooking dinner.”*

While some people use “themself” as a singular reflexive pronoun, it is less common and not widely accepted in formal writing.

### **Inclusivity and Importance**

The rise of singular “they” and “them” is more than just a grammatical trend—it’s a step toward creating a more inclusive society. Using the correct pronouns for someone who identifies as nonbinary or genderqueer is a sign of respect and acceptance. It’s also a way to avoid making assumptions about people based on their appearance or name.

In addition to “they” and “them,” there are other gender-neutral pronouns like “ze” and “zir,” but these are less commonly used and may not be recognized by everyone. For now, “they” and “them” remain the most practical and widely accepted options for singular, gender-neutral language.

### **Conclusion**

The use of “they” and “them” as singular pronouns is a simple but powerful way to make your language more inclusive. Whether you’re writing a formal essay, sending a text message, or just chatting with a friend, choosing the right pronouns can help create a more welcoming and respectful environment for everyone.

By understanding when to use singular “they” and “them,” you’re not only improving your communication skills—you’re also contributing to a more inclusive and compassionate society. So next time you’re unsure which pronoun to use, remember: “they” and “them” are always a safe and respectful choice.

### **Resources**

If you’d like to learn more about inclusive language and singular “they,” here are a few resources to check out:

– **AP Stylebook:**
The official style guide of the Associated Press has a section dedicated to the use of singular “they.”

– **Merriam-Webster Dictionary:**
This trusted dictionary recognizes “they” as a singular pronoun and provides examples of its use.

– **GLAAD Media Reference Guide:**
GLAAD’s guide to LGBTQ+ inclusive language includes a section on nonbinary pronouns.

With these tips and resources, you’ll be well on your way to mastering the use of singular “they” and “them.” Happy writing!