why do persons get defensive in conversation ?

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Defensiveness in Conversations | SkillsYouNeed
https://www.skillsyouneed.com/rhubarb/defensiveness-in-conversations.html
Conversations get stopped, communication gets blocked and, in the long run, relationships slowly erode. That’s because defensiveness is THE ultimate conversation killer. Defensiveness and open communication are like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde — anytime one of them is around, the other one seems to completely vanish.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-cycles-fear-cycles/201805/why-do-people-get-so-defensive

Why Do People Get So Defensive? | Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-cycles-fear-cycles/201805/why-do-people-get-so-defensive
Defensiveness is often a response to criticism. The worst-case scenario would be if your criticism led to their defensiveness. And now their defensiveness is leading back to your next criticism….

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-talk-to-someone-who-always-gets-defensive

How to Talk to Someone Who Always Gets Defensive
https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-talk-to-someone-who-always-gets-defensive
Defensive behavior might stem from a tough childhood or traumatic past, which can make a person more likely to react through a negative lens, said Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT, a psychotherapist and…

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17713/12-truths-about-defensive-behavior.html

12 Truths About Defensive Behavior – mindbodygreen
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17713/12-truths-about-defensive-behavior.html
To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn’t warrant it. Defensiveness is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation or conversation. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn.

https://www.mentalhelp.net/advice/what-is-the-true-meaning-of-being-defensive/

What is the true meaning of being defensive …
https://www.mentalhelp.net/advice/what-is-the-true-meaning-of-being-defensive/
Generally, when people talk about someone becoming defensive in the context of a conversation, they are meaning that that someone is engaging in emotionally defensive maneuvers designed to ward off their having to experience some unwanted feeling or admit responsibility for some disowned act. People who are acting defensively are essentially trying to protect themselves from feeling a certain uncomfortable way, and from viewing themselves as a failure or otherwise in a negative light.

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/behavior/what-is-defensive-behavior-and-what-does-it-look-like/

What Is Defensive Behavior and What Does It Look Like …
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/behavior/what-is-defensive-behavior-and-what-does-it-look-like/
A defensive person may have developed a chronic defensive response as a result of the way they’ve been brought up as it was modeled by their parents or other adults in their lives. In other words, a defensive reaction may be a result of learned behavior. While people that react defensively can be difficult to relate to, chronic defensive communication is highly treatable.

https://www.learning-mind.com/defensive-behavior/

6 Things That Hide Behind Defensive Behavior and How to …

6 Things That Hide Behind Defensive Behavior and How to Deal with It

Defensive behavior in these circumstances may not be at the time of a conversation but may come later in the form of ridicule or gossip. Pointing out the flaws in someone who is seemingly superior is a way of making them feel less of a threat to us in the future.

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/why-people-get-defensive-in-relationships/

Why People Get Defensive in Relationships -The School of …
https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/why-people-get-defensive-in-relationships/
Why People Get Defensive in Relationships. We often operate in romantic life under the mistaken view – unconsciously imported from law courts and school debating traditions – that the person who is ‘right’ or has the stronger case should, legitimately, ‘win’ any argument. But this is fundamentally to misunderstand what the point of relationships might be. It is not to defeat an opponent (there are no prizes for ‘winning’ other than self-satisfied loneliness) so much as to try …

https://psychcentral.com/lib/when-conversations-go-wrong-the-anatomy-of-disconnection-in-relationships

When Conversations Go Wrong: The Anatomy of Disconnection …
https://psychcentral.com/lib/when-conversations-go-wrong-the-anatomy-of-disconnection-in-relationships
And rather than being defensive in the first place, your husband might ask for more information about why you’re scared. It might seem like an obvious concept, but for either of you putting …

https://mainlinecounselingpartners.com/stop-being-defensive/

How To Stop Being Defensive (Even when you feel attacked)

How to Stop Being Defensive in Your Relationship

It’s Your Job Not to Be Defensive, Even When You’re Being Attacked or Criticized. It might not seem fair that you have to change your behavior when you’re the one being attacked, but the reality is that Defensiveness is just as damaging to a conversation and even to the health of a relationship as Criticism. In fact we know from John Gottman’s Research that it is one for the 4 major predictors of divorce.