Help with dispute – PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE

Description

I sold and item via Ebay w/ a policy of NO RETURNS. The buyer did not want the item and declared it was a different size than advertised, even though I have the original manufacturers receipt showing the size. Since he could not return the item through Ebay he disputed and started a claim via Paypal. I told him that since his child was sick I would make an exception and accept his return, and we agreed via Ebay messaging that he would cover the initial shipping cost and a restocking fee of $25 to help cover the fact that I am about to have a heart attack and have spent 2 weeks dealing with this crap. So Ebay has taken $46 in fees from me, and Paypal took about $12 in their fees. I am trying to refund the buyer the initial amount less the paypal fees, initial shipping cost and restocking fee as he agreed. I cannot even find where to issue him a refund. The transaction looks like its on hold, there is a dispute that no one in paypal responds to for days. When I message Paypal to explain the situation and get help, they respond hours later with some automated/canned information that makes NO sense and does not even address my question. I cannot even begin to refund the buyers agreed amount, and I cannot get my ebay fees refunded (which are now being taken from my overdrawn bank account) until I send them a screenshot that I have refunded the buyer. Right now I am out $46 plus $17 shipping, plus $12 ebay = $75 and they want me to refund the full $400 to the buyer. How is this fair when I don’t even accept returns as a stated policy? I am not a regular ebay seller. I sold a couple valuable items that I decided I could part with so that I could cover my bills this month and buy groceries. Paypal has no phone number and their help messaging is useless. I have health issues that are exascerbated by stress so its gonna be great when Paypal is the final straw that kills me. PLEASE HELP ME>